Some Reflections on My Time In Venice

Most of you already know this but last month I took a 15 day trip to Venice Italy to complete the course Contemporary Art: Framework to Develop Your Ideas through the European Cultural Academy Venice. I spent 15 days in July in Venice split between learning and experiencing the Venice Biennale and taking roughly four hours of courses a day to help us develop a self designated personal project. I showed up ready to get to work as my project was during my time in Venice while it was a long shot, it still felt like a shot I needed to take. However the project itself wasn’t what surprised me the most during my time there and I wrote a piece about it for our last presentation I have decided to share with you all today. Below is the presentation I shared with the group on the very last day.

“The original concept for my presentation today was that I was going to just post an image of the submission page of my project proposal, which was successfully submitted yesterday. Because of this program It is likely one of the best proposals I’ve written. 

However This project has existed on two planes for me. On one plane I was a burnt out Gallerist and non profit Executive Director sent here by my board to find some inspiration and vision that I can bring home to the artists I mentor. 

On a second plane I’m a small child finally finding her voice amongst a family home full of trauma and overwhelm. The project I brought with me came to me last minute in an email from a colleague. It sparked a connection between my current work, a series of paintings that serve both as canvas and soundstage, and a road of self discovery that has led to a recent understanding allowing me to fully connect with my child self. 

I found painting late but . I can still remember the first time I put paint to paper and the feeling  that something inside of myself had finally found a way out. As I grew with my artwork it became an avenue of self exploration and grounding that I never knew I needed. It started with abstract paintings based on memory and has developed into a process of self reflection and internal knowing. 

Through the practice of art I’ve come closer to myself than I ever knew possible. It has led me down the path that inevitably helped me to understand my own neurodivergent nature. This program and this project has provided an avenue of understanding I didn’t even know I still needed. 

My submission to the Portland Airport Project was a hand out to my child self who struggled to understand the nuances of my own overwhelm and internal chaos. Submitting an installation that makes emotional space for my child self to find respite and calm was not only an attempt to give power back to that self but to make space for other neurodivergent folks taking the brave step to travel in a system designed for sensory overload.

For the first time I feel calm inside knowing that what I create in the world has a purpose that is exponentially greater than I could have imagined. Moving forward I’m going to make sure that my child self has a place to go and find calm amongst even the most stressful moments. After all the project must go on.