My inner critic asks me a lot of hard questions. This week it's am I really doing this any different than I have been before when it was just a hobby? Just because I filed an LLC and now can write things off doesn't mean it is real, she says. It drags me down and in a moment of time where I am isolated it really hits home. I go online and look for "real jobs" and feel even worse.
I bet you can even recollect moments you did this yourself.
Well today IKEA of all places knocked my inner critic in the teeth. You see I am participating in a group show next week. Nothing extraordinaire about it but it is going to be such a fun event Gambling + art? Sign me up! In preparing for the show I realized I needed more frames. I get them all at IKEA which my friends can be a two hour commute to. And today it was.
I tried to cheat myself out of the trip. I got off at another retailer to look at frames. Found the right size and at a cheap cost. I held it in my hands thinking, this means I could be home in twenty minutes. I had hit budget and could just finish the task.
However my business self came into play. The frame in my hand was cheap at best. Would look sub par and frankly would make the collection I had been working to curate look terrible. Sigh. I put it down went out to the parking lot and was on my way to IKEA.
In checking out at IKEA I realized that I had climbed a small mountain that day. The easy road is no longer a viable option because my work is worth it. My business is worth it and more importantly my clients are worth it. I want my artwork to change people's spaces. To make them feel alive and vibrant and I cannot do that with subpar choices. My business, and more importantly my art, have a higher value than that.